Couples Counseling in Roseville, CA: Is It Right for You?
Are you and your partner feeling disconnected? Do conversations frequently escalate into arguments? Has trust been compromised in your relationship? These challenges, while difficult, don't have to define your partnership. Couples counseling in Roseville, CA offers a structured, supportive environment where you and your partner can address these issues and build a stronger foundation together.
Audrey Schoen, LMFT, offers specialized couples counseling services designed to address common relationship challenges such as communication issues and trust rebuilding. Audrey's approach focuses on empowering couples to understand their partners and themselves better, fostering a deeper connection.
With a strong foundation in evidence-based techniques like Accelerated Resolution Therapy and Brainspotting, Audrey tailors her counseling to meet the unique needs of each relationship. Her goal is to help couples steer their challenges effectively and build a healthier, more fulfilling partnership.
Recognizing When Couples Counseling Could Help Your Relationship
Relationships naturally evolve over time, and encountering challenges is a normal part of that evolution. However, certain patterns or persistent issues may signal that professional guidance could be beneficial. Here are key indicators that couples counseling in Roseville, CA might be right for you:
Feeling Emotionally Disconnected
Do you feel like you're living parallel lives under the same roof? Emotional disconnection is one of the most common reasons couples seek therapy. This disconnection can manifest as:
Feeling like roommates rather than partners
Limited meaningful conversations beyond logistics
Decreased interest in shared activities
Emotional withdrawal or holding back feelings
Lack of physical affection or intimacy
Research from experienced therapists shows that emotional disconnection doesn't typically resolve on its own. In fact, without intervention, this pattern often deepens over time, creating further distance between partners. Many couples find that marriage counseling provides a safe and confidential space to identify the roots of disconnection and rebuild emotional bridges.
Communication Issues
Communication breakdowns lie at the heart of many relationship difficulties. You might benefit from couples therapy if you recognize these patterns:
Frequent misunderstandings that escalate quickly
The same arguments repeating without resolution
Difficulty expressing needs or feelings constructively
Shutting down during difficult conversations
Feeling unheard or invalidated by your partner
Conversations that quickly turn to criticism or defensiveness
Effective communication forms the foundation of healthy relationships, yet many couples never learn the skills needed to communicate well under stress. In therapy, you'll develop practical tools to express yourself clearly, listen actively, and navigate disagreements productively.
Trust Issues and Rebuilding Connection
Trust can be damaged in relationships for various reasons, from infidelity to broken promises or unmet expectations. Signs that trust issues might benefit from professional support include:
Lingering resentment over past incidents
Excessive checking or controlling behaviors
Difficulty being vulnerable or open with each other
Persistent jealousy or insecurity
Inability to forgive or move forward from past hurts
Rebuilding trust requires intentional work from both partners, often with seeking guidance from a family therapist. In couples counseling, you'll create a roadmap for healing, with clear steps toward reestablishing trust and security in your relationship.
Life Transitions and External Stressors
Major life transitions can put significant strain on even the strongest relationships. Consider marriage counseling if you're experiencing:
Adjustment struggles after having children
Career changes or financial pressures
Moving to a new location
Health challenges or caring for aging parents
Difficulties with in-laws or blended families
Differences in managing stress or processing emotions
Therapy provides tools to navigate these transitions as a team rather than allowing external pressures to drive you apart. Learning to support each other through change can actually strengthen your bond long-term and promote healthy relationships.
Desire for Relationship Growth
Couples counseling isn't only for relationships in distress. Many couples seek therapy to enhance an already good relationship or to prepare for future milestones. You might consider marriage counseling if:
You're preparing for marriage or long-term commitment
You want to improve communication skills in specific areas
You're planning a major life change together
You wish to deepen your emotional or physical intimacy
You want preventative tools to maintain relationship health
Proactive couples work can strengthen your strong foundation and provide valuable relationship skills before serious problems develop. Think of it as relationship maintenance rather than crisis intervention.
Understanding the Couples Counseling Process
Couples therapy is a specialized form of therapy designed to help partners improve their relationship through enhanced understanding, communication, and connection. Before deciding if it's right for you, it helps to understand what the process typically involves.
The Core Focus of Marriage Counseling
Unlike individual therapy, which centers on personal growth and healing, couples counseling focuses on the relationship itself as the client. The therapist serves as an objective guide, helping both partners:
Identify unhelpful patterns of interaction
Understand how past experiences influence current challenges
Develop skills to communicate needs and feelings effectively
Create new patterns that foster connection and intimacy
Build a vision for the relationship you both desire
This relationship-centered approach means both partners actively participate in the therapeutic process, working together toward shared goals with the therapist's guidance.
Theoretical Approaches in Couples Therapy
As a licensed marriage and family therapist in Roseville, I integrate several evidence-based approaches to address your specific relationship issues:
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)
EFT helps couples identify and transform negative interaction cycles by understanding the emotions beneath surface behaviors. This approach views relationship distress as resulting from insecure attachment and helps partners create a secure emotional bond by:
Identifying triggering interactions and their underlying emotions
Recognizing attachment needs and fears that drive reactive behaviors
Restructuring interactions to foster secure connection
Learning to request and provide emotional support effectively
Research shows EFT has a 70-75% success rate in helping couples move from distress to recovery, with 90% showing significant improvements.
The Gottman Method
Based on over 40 years of research on thousands of couples, the Gottman Method focuses on building friendship, managing conflict, and creating shared meaning. This approach helps couples:
Enhance respect, affection, and closeness
Break through relationship gridlock on perpetual issues
Process past regrettable incidents effectively
Manage conflict through dialogue rather than power struggles
Create shared rituals and goals that strengthen connection
The structured exercises and interventions in this method provide practical tools couples can use long after therapy ends.
Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART)
As a Certified Master ART Practitioner, I offer this innovative approach that can help couples process painful experiences and trauma that affect their relationship. ART combines elements of eye movement therapy with imagery rescripting to:
Process traumatic or painful memories without extensive talking
Reduce emotional reactivity to triggering situations
Create new, positive mental images that support relationship healing
Achieve significant results in fewer sessions than traditional approaches
This approach can be particularly helpful when past traumas or painful experiences interfere with present connection.
Relational Life Therapy (RLT)
Relational Life Therapy (RLT) offers a powerful framework for couples experiencing significant relationship distress. While newer than some approaches, RLT fills important gaps left by other methods, addressing the whole relationship ecosystem. This approach focuses on:
Developing differentiation while maintaining connection
Managing anxiety in relationships without withdrawing
Creating a balance of autonomy and togetherness
Transforming sexual intimacy challenges
Building resilience in the face of relationship pressure
Many couples report that RLT helped their marriage by helping them see things differently and develop new ways of relating. What makes RLT particularly powerful is how it complements other approaches like Gottman and EFT, creating a more comprehensive healing experience.
Brainspotting
Brainspotting is a powerful therapeutic technique that accesses unprocessed trauma in the subcortical brain. In couples work, this approach can help:
Identify and process emotions stored in the body
Reduce triggering between partners
Increase emotional regulation during difficult conversations
Develop deeper empathy and understanding for each other's experiences
By integrating these approaches, I provide customized therapy that addresses your unique relationship dynamics and goals.
What to Expect in Your First Session
Starting couples therapy can feel intimidating if you don't know what to expect. Understanding the typical process can help ease anxiety and set realistic expectations.
Initial Assessment Phase
The first 1-3 sessions typically focus on assessment, where we:
Discuss your relationship history and current challenges
Identify specific goals for therapy
Complete relationship assessments to identify strengths and growth areas
Create a treatment plan tailored to your relationship needs
Establish a safe and confidential space for both partners
During this phase, I'll spend time with both of you together and may have short individual counseling sessions to understand each perspective fully. This comprehensive assessment helps ensure the therapy addresses your specific needs rather than applying a one-size-fits-all approach.
Active Treatment Phase
Following assessment, we'll move into the active work of therapy. Typical sessions may include:
Structured exercises to practice new communication skills
Guided conversations about sensitive topics with therapist support
Exploration of underlying emotions and needs
Learning to recognize and interrupt negative interaction patterns
Building new rituals of connection and appreciation
Sessions are generally 50-90 minutes, depending on the intensity of the work and the approach being used. Most couples attend weekly sessions initially, with frequency adjusting as progress is made.
Between-Session Practice
Meaningful change requires applying new skills between sessions. You might:
Practice specific communication techniques at home
Complete reflection exercises individually
Implement new rituals of connection in daily life
Track patterns of interaction to increase awareness
Read recommended resources on relationship topics
This between-session work accelerates progress and helps integrate new patterns into your everyday relationship.
Progress and Completion
As you develop new skills and patterns, we'll periodically assess progress toward your goals. Many couples see significant improvement within 12-20 sessions, though this varies based on:
The complexity and duration of relationship issues
Consistency in applying new skills
Individual factors like trauma history, depression, or anxiety
Life circumstances and external stressors
Therapy typically concludes when couples have:
Developed effective tools for managing conflict resolution
Created secure patterns of emotional connection
Rebuilt trust and intimacy appropriate to their relationship
Gained confidence in their ability to maintain relationship health
Many couples choose to schedule periodic "tune-up" sessions after completing regular therapy to maintain gains and address new challenges as they arise.
The Benefits of Couples Counseling
Couples who engage fully in the therapeutic process often experience significant benefits that extend beyond resolving the immediate issues that brought them to therapy.
Enhanced Communication Skills
Perhaps the most valuable outcome of marriage counseling is developing communication skills that serve you throughout your relationship. These include:
Expressing needs and feelings directly without blame
Listening to understand rather than to respond or defend
Navigating difficult topics with respect and care
Recognizing and managing defensive reactions
Finding compromises that honor both partners' needs
These skills not only improve your relationship but often enhance connections with children, family members, loved ones, colleagues, and friends as well.
Deeper Emotional Intimacy
Many couples discover a level of emotional connection they haven't experienced before through the therapeutic process. This deeper intimacy comes through:
Understanding each other's emotional worlds more completely
Creating safety for vulnerability and authentic sharing
Recognizing and responding to each other's attachment needs
Developing rituals that foster regular emotional connection
Building a shared narrative of your relationship journey
This emotional intimacy creates resilience in the relationship, helping you weather future challenges with greater security and connection.
Conflict Resolution Skills
Conflict itself isn't harmful to relationships—it's how conflict is handled that matters. Through couples counseling, you'll develop:
The ability to discuss disagreements without escalation
Skills to repair quickly after arguments
Understanding of each other's conflict styles and triggers
Techniques for finding win-win solutions to problems
Comfort with temporary discomfort for long-term growth
These conflict resolution skills transform disagreements from threats to the relationship into opportunities for deeper understanding and growth.
Renewed Partnership and Shared Vision
As communication improves and negative patterns shift, many couples experience:
Increased relationship satisfaction and enjoyment in the marriage
A clearer shared vision for your future together
Renewed commitment and investment in the partnership
Greater appreciation for each other's strengths and contributions
A sense of being on the same page rather than opponents
This renewed partnership creates momentum that continues to strengthen your relationship long after therapy concludes.
Family Counseling and Blended Families
While couples counseling focuses primarily on the relationship between partners, family therapy broadens the focus to include children and other family members. This approach can be particularly beneficial for:
Blended Families
Creating a harmonious blended family requires navigating complex dynamics. Family therapy can help:
Establish clear roles and boundaries
Address loyalty conflicts children may experience
Develop consistent parenting approaches between partners
Create new family traditions and rituals
Process grief related to past family transitions
As a family therapist, I offer specialized support for blended families facing these unique challenges.
Parenting Challenges
When couples struggle with different parenting styles or approaches, it can create tension in the relationship. Family counseling provides:
Strategies for presenting a united front with children
Tools for effective co-parenting during conflict
Support for dealing with challenging child behaviors
Guidance for age-appropriate expectations and discipline
Techniques for balancing individual and family needs
Working with both partners and sometimes including children in sessions allows for comprehensive solutions to family issues.
Intergenerational Patterns
Many relationship patterns are influenced by our families of origin. Therapy can help identify and transform these patterns by:
Recognizing how childhood experiences shape current reactions
Understanding intergenerational trauma and its impact
Creating new, healthier patterns different from those you experienced
Setting appropriate boundaries with extended family
Healing past wounds that affect present relationships
This deeper work often creates profound shifts in both couple and family dynamics.
Finding the Right Therapist in Roseville, CA
The therapeutic relationship is crucial to successful couples counseling. When selecting a therapist, consider these important factors:
Specialized Training and Experience
Look for experienced therapists with:
Specific training in couples therapy approaches (not just individual therapy)
Experience working with issues similar to yours
Professional credentials such as LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist) or professional clinical counselor
Ongoing education in relationship therapy methods
A clear theoretical framework that guides their work
A therapist's general counseling experience doesn't necessarily translate to effectiveness with couples. Specialized training matters significantly in this field.
Personal Fit and Neutrality
The therapist-couple relationship is essential for successful outcomes. Consider whether the therapist:
Creates a supportive environment for both partners
Maintains neutrality rather than taking sides
Respects both perspectives equally
Matches well with your communication styles and values
Provides structure and leadership in sessions
Many therapists offer brief consultations where you can assess this fit before committing to ongoing therapy.
Counseling Services and Practical Considerations
Don't overlook practical factors that affect your ability to engage consistently in therapy:
Location and accessibility of the counseling center
Availability of appointment times that work for both partners
Options for virtual sessions if needed
Session length options (standard vs. extended sessions)
Policies regarding cancellations and scheduling
Consistency in attending sessions significantly impacts outcomes, so these practical concerns matter.
Frequently Asked Questions About Couples Counseling
How many sessions of couples counseling will we need?
The duration of couples therapy varies based on several factors, including the nature and severity of your challenges, how long issues have persisted, and your commitment to the process. Generally:
Brief, solution-focused therapy for specific issues might span 8-12 sessions
Moderate relationship challenges typically require 12-20 sessions
Complex issues involving trust rebuilding or trauma may take 20+ sessions
Most couples attend weekly sessions initially, then may transition to bi-weekly as progress is made. Remember that meaningful relationship change takes time and consistent effort from both partners.
Is couples counseling effective?
Research consistently shows that couples therapy is effective for approximately 70% of couples who engage in the process. Effectiveness depends on:
Both partners' willingness to examine their contributions to problems
Consistency in attending sessions and practicing new skills
The fit between the couple's needs and the therapist's approach
Timing of intervention (earlier intervention generally yields better results)
The presence of individual issues like untreated depression, anxiety, or grief
Couples who enter therapy with a commitment to growth rather than proving who's "right" typically see the best outcomes and experience relief from relationship distress.
What if my partner won't come to therapy?
While couples counseling ideally involves both partners, you have options if one partner is reluctant:
Share information about the process to address misconceptions
Suggest starting with a single consultation session without commitment
Consider individual counseling focused on relationship skills
Work on your own patterns that contribute to relationship dynamics
Set boundaries around relationship issues that affect your well-being
Sometimes a partner who initially refuses therapy becomes open to it after seeing positive changes in your approach to the relationship.
Is it normal to feel worse before feeling better in couples therapy?
Many couples experience a temporary increase in discomfort during the early phases of therapy as:
Long-avoided issues come to the surface
New patterns feel awkward before becoming natural
Vulnerability increases before new safety is established
Old defenses are challenged before new skills develop
This discomfort is typically a sign of productive work happening, not an indication that therapy isn't working. Most couples move through this phase as they develop new skills and understanding.
What if we're considering separation or divorce?
Couples counseling can be valuable even when the relationship's future is uncertain. Therapy can help:
Gain clarity about whether the relationship can be repaired
Process difficult emotions around potential separation
Create a respectful process for uncoupling if necessary
Develop co-parenting plans if children are involved
Find closure and understanding regardless of outcome
A skilled couples therapist can support you through discernment counseling—a specialized process for couples on the brink of separation—to make thoughtful decisions about your path forward.
Can couples counseling help military families?
Yes, couples therapy can be particularly beneficial for military families, including Air Force couples and other service members, who face unique challenges such as:
Frequent relocations and deployment separations
Reintegration after deployment
Trauma or PTSD impacts on the relationship
Balancing military and family commitments
Communication during separation
Specialized approaches for military families address these unique stressors and help couples develop resilience and connection despite these challenges.
Taking the Next Step in Your Relationship Journey
Deciding to seek couples counseling is a significant step that demonstrates commitment to your relationship's health and growth. As you consider whether therapy is right for you and your partner, remember:
Most relationship challenges respond well to professional guidance
Seeking help is a sign of strength, not relationship failure
The skills learned in couples therapy benefit all areas of life
Earlier intervention typically leads to better outcomes
Investing in your relationship quality affects overall well-being and life satisfaction
If you're experiencing relationship issues or simply want to strengthen an already good partnership, couples counseling in Roseville, CA can provide the structure, skills, and support needed to create lasting positive change.
As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist specializing in couples work, I offer personalized counseling services designed to help you build a more connected, fulfilling relationship. My approach integrates both evidence-based methods and powerful emerging approaches including Accelerated Resolution Therapy, Brainspotting, Relational Life Therapy (RLT), and couples intensives to address your specific needs and help you feel hopeful about your future together.
Serving clients in Roseville, CA and throughout California and Texas via online therapy, I provide a safe and confidential space where both partners feel heard, respected, and guided toward meaningful growth.
To learn more about how couples counseling might benefit your relationship, or to schedule a first session, please reach out. Together, we can create a path toward the connected, supportive partnership you desire and help you feel connected in ways you may not have experienced before.
About Audrey Schoen, LMFT
As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Roseville, CA, I specialize in helping individuals and couples navigate challenging life experiences and relationship patterns. With advanced training as a Certified Master ART Practitioner and expertise in Brainspotting, I offer innovative approaches to healing and growth.
My counseling center focuses on supporting clients through:
Trauma and painful experiences
Perfectionism and self-criticism
Anxiety and reactivity
Relationship challenges and patterns
Money anxiety and financial therapy
Imposter syndrome and self-doubt
In addition to my work with couples and individuals, I offer specialized services including couples intensives, retreats, and therapist business coaching for those who wish to address concerns effectively and create positive change in their professional lives.
My approach is personalized to each client's unique needs, drawing from evidence-based methods while emphasizing compassion, practical solutions, and sustainable change. I believe that with the right support, everyone has the capacity to create meaningful transformation in their lives and relationships.
Serving clients in Roseville, CA for in-person sessions and throughout California and Texas via secure online therapy, I provide flexible options to meet your needs. For more information about my approach or to discuss how I might support your specific situation, please contact me to schedule a consultation. Together, we can create a journey of hope and healing for your relationship.